Shock! Scandal! What will the neighbors say?! Would someone please think of the children?! This week’s collection of cheap theatre is all about gossip-worthy impropriety — the kind of stories that grace the front pages of the tabloids at the check-out line. You know exactly the kind, it’s everyone’s favorite guilty pleasure. Grab a ticket and pull up a seat to find out what they’ll do next. It’s sure to leave you eager for more.
Cowboy Mouth by Patti Smith and Sam Shepard (Rhizoma Productions/Sterling Studio Theatre). A man goes on a sex- and drug-fuelled bender with a girl who wants to make him a rock star. Opens Mar 24 and runs to Mar 29, Mon-Sat 8 pm. $20, stu $15. Sterling Studio Theatre, 163 Sterling, unit 5. sterlingstudiotheatre.com.
Desperate Church Wives by Diane Johnstone (Under the Blood Productions). Church ladies are upset when a minister’s wife is busted for prostitution in this solo comedy. Opens Mar 20 and runs to Mar 29, Thu-Sat 8 pm. $15, stu/srs $10. Red Sandcastle Theatre, 922 Queen E. 416-845-9411, totix.ca.
Road by Jim Cartwright (Theatre @ York). In 1980s England, the unemployed residents of a small town use sex, religion, nostalgia, suicide and drink to escape their bleak reality. Previews Mar 23-24. Opens Mar 25 and runs to Mar 29, daily at 7:30 pm, mats Wed and Fri at 1 pm. $17, stu/srs $12, preview $5. York University, Joseph G Green Studio, 4700 Keele. 416-736-5888, theatre.finearts.yorku.ca.
The Trial Of Ken Gass by Bobby Del Rio (Hlibka Entertainment Inc). In a Kafkaesque series of interrogations, theatre star Ken Gass is put on trial for crimes he is not aware of. A different actor plays Gass each night. Opens Mar 22 and runs to Apr 3, Sun-Thu and Sat 8 pm, mat Sun 2:30 pm. $15, Sun pwyc. Big Picture Cinema, 1035 Gerrard E. 416-466-3636, guestlistapp.com/events/233787.
Under The Skin by Betty Lambert (Unit 102 Actor’s Company). Destructive tendencies are revealed as three characters deal with the disappearance of a young girl. Opens Mar 20 and runs to Mar 29, Mon-Sat 8 pm. $20. Unit 102 Theatre, 376 Dufferin. unit102theatre.com.